by
posted 11/15/2012
Dr. Richard Ginsburg took a deep breath and chuckled.
"Being a parent is humbling," said Ginsburg, the co-director of the Paces Institute for Sport Psychology at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston, faculty member at Harvard University, US Lacrosse Sports Science and Safety Committee member and co-author of "Whose Game Is It, Anyway?"
"As a parent, I'm getting more and more data on myself. I'm amazed at how many mistakes I'm making, and how often I can get swept up in the very things that I'm warning parents about. I've studied this, and I've written books about it. And I still find myself vulnerable to these things," Ginsburg said.
"It's hard work. No one is perfect here. Ninety-nine percent of parents are well-intentioned, and we're not crazy, bad people. But there's so much pressure in the culture, and we can get pulled in a lot of directions. It's hard to keep it together. We're going to make mistakes as parents, and that's OK, as long as we learn from our mistakes and try to re-center ourselves by reviewing our values."
We'll make this the first observation: Check your ego at the door. It's hard — for everyone.
The second observation: There are no hard-and-fast rules. Every child is different. Every parent is different. Every situation is different.
When Lacrosse Magazine embarked on an adventure to compile advice to help parents navigate the youth lacrosse experience by getting the opinions of more than a dozen influential figures across the game, we didn't know where it would take us. So what did we find? No one has all the answers.
"I tell parents and kids: 'Listen, I have no idea what I'm talking about right now. And I know you have no idea what I'm talking about right now,'" said Duke men's lacrosse coach John Danowski, who has been on all sides of the parent-child-coach triangle. "If we can all agree that we have no idea, then at least we have a base to start from. At least we can say, 'All right, we're all kind of clueless. Let's start from there.'"
We're here to help. Acknowledging that parenting is challenging and there are no definitive guidelines, Lacrosse Magazine settled on five underlying principles that can help parents steer through the youth lacrosse experience. What follows are five things every lacrosse parent should know.
1. There is no pot of gold at the end of the recruiting rainbow
Ruthie Lavelle, mother of five and president of the Maryland Youth Lacrosse Association, a volunteer-based recreational league of about 40,000 boys and girls ages 5 to 14, said parents have lost perspective in their decision-making because of recruiting, the process for which has been hastened remarkably in recent years. "What are parents chasing? They're chasing disappointment," Lavelle said. "They think there's a pot of gold, but they're chasing dissatisfaction. They're crazed about it."
Parents vigorously pursue and make great sacrifices — in time, finances and energy — in a competitive quest, hoping to capture an athletic scholarship. The return on investment is not what you think.
"The current culture is suggesting, 'If you just get the right coach, and play in the right program, and play enough hours, you can be great. And you have to pay for it,'" Ginsburg said. "But the reality is — if you do the math — there are going to be many disappointed people."
In 2012, there were 61 men's Division I programs, and 92 women's programs. For men, the NCAA maximum number of allowable scholarships is 12.6 over four years. For women, it's 12. Estimates suggest roughly half of these programs are fully funded; some schools have fewer than the allotted total, while Ivy League and service academies do not offer athletic scholarships.
These scholarships most often are divided among players. Denver Outlaws coach Jim Stagnitta, the former Rutgers men's coach and current owner of MVP Lax Camps, joked: "I can think of a handful guys who got full rides, and most of them are named Powell."
Said Virginia men's coach Dom Starsia: "If you take our Tewaaraton Award winners — Matt Ward, Chris Rotelli and Steele Stanwick — and added them all together, it might equal a little more than one full scholarship."
Said Georgetown women's coach Ricky Fried: "There's a misconception of the full ride. They're just not out there."
Any high school athlete has a 6-percent chance of playing college varsity sports in any division and 3.7-percent chance in Division I, according to a recent Wall Street Journal article.
As part of US Lacrosse's effort to develop consistent national rules, the organization developed gender-specific guidebooks to help explain the rules and the rationale behind them.
"What happens when an athlete has put all his eggs in one basket? It creates a risk of imbalance," Ginsburg said.
For the complete article, visit LaxMagazine.com...
THEY'RE BAAAACK...
